Frequently Asked Question

Answering questions to save you having to ask, though of course if you do have any questions, please do ask!

What do you do?

We meet up for normal (vanilla) socials, in which we chat, share info, spend time with like-minded people, and whatever else you might expect from a university society. We also run demonstrations and workshops with outside speakers, as well as meet up to practice things such as rope tying, or whatever else people want to do.

Do you all get naked and whip each other/have orgies?

Yes. That's all we do. Ok seriously, no, that's not what we're about. Fetsoc is intended to be a safe place where you can learn about techniques and kinks that might interest you, chat with friends and meet other like-minded people. No-one’s expected to do anything they’re not comfortable with, and if you happen to meet someone there who you hit it off with and would like to do terrible things to in private, then great!

But your society is about sexual practice, is it not?

No one's denying that (although BDSM doesn’t have to be sexual), but we're not a dating service. We provide a forum in which information on practicing fetish activities in a safe and exciting way can be obtained and exchanged, where to obtain any necessary kit, and we endeavour to help you meet other people with the same interest as yourself. In fact, that could be used to describe any society, if you substitute their activity in place of 'fetish'.

So why is this better than reading a book or looking online?

Because you get to meet real live people, ask questions, share information and experiences with each other. We do have a fetsoc library if you'd like to read up about things though!

I have X fetish - would I be welcome?

Of course! We don't quiz people on their kinks when they join, you don't even need to have one! As long as you respect everyone else, you'll find us to be a really nice and welcoming group of individuals. Whether you've been on the scene for years or you're just starting out, or even if you're just curious as to what's out there, we would be equally happy to see you!

Will I meet someone there with X fetish?

Come along and see! We have a wide assortment of people, and even if there isn't anyone who shares your exact kink, there'll be those who know about it, know other people in the scene and can accompany you to events where you might find someone into your thing.

Which fetishes are ok?

All of them! We have people with a wide variety of interests, and they know that their things doesn't always appeal to others, so they'll be more than happy to respect your tastes as long as you show the same courtesy.

So I just show up and introduce myself?

If you like! Alternatively you can email us or join our Facebook group (see below).

Should I wear my fetish gear to make a good first impression?

Well, you'd make a lasting impression... However, it's a casual meeting and people usually wear street clothes.

So... if it's a vanilla social somewhere, and you're in street clothes, how do I recognise you?

Well if it's in a Guild room, there'll be a notice by the door saying which group's in there. If you see people holding rope, floggers or other items, it's safe to assume it's us! If you're meeting us for a trip, let us know and we can have someone meet you at a designated place so you don't get lost.

But I really want to get dressed up!

Ok, ok! Many of our members go to fetish events where such vestments are the acceptable norm, so you can come along and find out about those (or check the links page when I get to sorting one out!)

Can I join if I’m not at your university?

Of course! If you’re not a Birmingham Uni student you’ll need external Guild membership (roughly £8), and then you can join us for £3 a year.

Are there any more questions in this FAQ?

Yes, one. Two including this one.

Hey! My question wasn't on the list!

Now steady on! Chances are that your question isn't frequently asked. The solution to this problem is to ask it. Frequently. Then it'll get up here, probably. Or you could just ask it once by email and I'll send you the answer. If three or more people ask the same question either by email or in person I'll post it up here. If you send it to me three times I'll answer it once and mock your repeated monkey-like behaviours twice (unless of course there's a good reason like me taking forever to answer it the first time).